Letting Him Go With Less Tears & Drama

There are many, many reasons why relationships end or why couples break up. The decision to split is not yours. You love him and he loves you back, but your parents interfere with the relationship threatening you to quit school. You want to breakup because you are seeing another (it makes me shudder to think of breaking up with someone who thinks you are the world to him) or you want to breakup because you find out that he is cheating on you.

Whatever reasons you have, this process is a nerve-wracking experience. It means shattered ego, bruised feelings, (may I say soul bruises), and low self-esteem. Although I am tempted to say that breaking up with a cheater is no sweat.

You can dump this guy right away, anytime, unmindfully dropping him like a hot potato. Who cares anyway? No explanations needed. But if this cheater insists for any valid reason for the brush off, just snap ‘You know why!’

How to breakup?

It is very insensitive or very inconsiderate if you breakup with him by email, text message, fax, voice message, or online. The idea of sending your friend as the bringer of bad news is improper. Adding insult to injury? Sending him a letter takes time. Gather your courage and tell him face-to face.

Where to breakup. Talk to him privately. Ask him to meet him in your house where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Tell him there is something you need to talk about and let your voice sound that something unpleasant is coming in his way.

Everyone knows that kind of tone voice “We need to talk”. In this way, you are already preparing him for the inevitable, lessening the blows. Do not sound as if you are happy to hear his voice , that you miss him very much. Surely, he will be in a great shock.

You can also do the breaking up in an unromantic public place, with people around. Say, a lunch together in a fast food court. In this way, you drive your message straight, that you mean business. If he is the type who expresses his emotions freely, then face the consequences.

Be prepared for any unwanted situations, such as a fist on the table, swearing, and obscene words coming your way. A glass of water thrown in your face, well, only girls do that. What if he cries? They say, boys don’t cry but men do. Bring extra cash, he will surely storm off after the announcement and leave you to settle the bills. (In this case, do the ordering yourself, and choose a menu that’s easy on the budget).

How to say it. Look straight at his eyes and snap it out. Tell him directly. No sugarcoating please. Resist the temptation of rehashing the famous breakup lines in history. The popular “it’s not you, it’s me” (oh, really?) Is overused and both of you know it is not true. Be honest and firm. Tell him the bitter truth, no matter how brutal it may seem. The “I don’t love you anymore” seems a slap in his face, but in this way he gets the message – that you are unhappy with him and you really want out.

Show him the way. There is no need to delay. Say your final goodbye and don’t prolong the pain. Devastated as he may be, he will appreciate if you don’t try to soothe his wounded pride.

The “I know I hurt you, babe” phrase is meaningless. And may just to remind you that you are breaking up with him now – so please omit any endearment exclusive just for the two of you.

If he starts to talk you out of it, because most men do, , stand up and escort him to the door. And be ready for another door to open. You are ready for a fresh start.

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  1. 100% agree that you need to do the breaking up in person. No good can come from doing it via text or Facebook (or whatever) and he’ll likely refer to you “as that bitch who…” to all his friends. Trust me. The one point I don’t agree with is doing it in a public place…or perhaps a place that is as public as a mall. I don’t see that going down well, especially when emotions are involved. No good would come of that 🙁 Maybe a park or somewhere unrelated to your relationship, but definitely not a crowded restaurant or food court.

    • you are a bit right. But don’t you think some partners can be very aggressive to cause harm?
      We only recommend open place when you aren’t sure of what his emotion would look like.

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